In my practice of selling homes I strive to illuminate what home really is for my clients, in mind, body, and spirit. I hope that I can help materialize an environment that creates a safe space for them to tap into their core values of home and self and find a place that consensually pulls out unconscious needs and awareness to find alignment; I want to facilitate embodiment with my clients, so they come from a place of truth and instinct. A place that allows expression, where there are practices to understanding self, to ask for their needs, and helps discover what they truly want, so I can find them their “home within” and “home without.” I sat down with my friend Melanie, who I feel embodies self and home through her desired form of expression, and explored her inner and outer home.
What does home mean for your mind, body and spirit?
For my mind, it is a place that functions and flows in a way that helps my mind be at ease. I do best when everything has its place, and it is tidy. I am not a minimalist, by any stretch, so I need to have a system for my environment to not feel like chaos. When I know where things are and my home is well organized, my mind can relax. My body is sensitive and it’s quite easy for me to get overstimulated and overwhelmed. So, I need my home to be a place of rest, a sanctuary from the outside world, where my neurology can wind down and recharge. I often self soothe by first noticing my senses and will use things like candles or incense that I enjoy, music that I love, some good lighting design and a quick tidy up of my house to help me come back into relationship with my body and feel more at peace. It also means I have a safe place to cry. Home for my spirit is having a space for the things that uplift and feed my soul. I try to surround myself with what allows me to be creative and to play. For me that means that I have room to dance, move my body, move any stuck energy or emotion out. I have the space to create and play with fashion and my personal style which is a big part of my creative expression. I’m a collector, I love to thrift and find homes for things even if it’s not with me. I choose to surround myself with personal items, and totems that remind me of who I am and where I come from. My design aesthetic is very much in line with the Wabi Sabi lifestyle, which is the idea of embracing the beauty of imperfection, building relationship, and working with your environment and nature. The byproduct is that this practice tends to bleed out into other areas of life which has been the greatest gift.
What does safety and trust mean for yourself and with others? I find this to be the first step to helping embodying self.
Reliability is a huge indicator of what or who is a safe place for me, someone who consistently follows through with their commitments helps my body learn to trust them. In turn I try to do the same for others and myself. Carving out a rhythm with rituals or daily practice has been one of the best tools in assisting me in my day to day (and particularly in the winter months). It is also a big part of my spiritual practice as well. The beauty is that it can look different for everyone, it’s just about finding the pace and rhythm that feels best for you. Discover what little things throughout the day bring you joy, gratitude, and something to look forward to, and prioritize them. I think my younger self would think it’s incredibly boring. She laughs. Connecting to, and creating a practice around what I like to describe as the drum beat of life has brought me great comfort and safety especially in hard times.
What does it mean to embody something?
To make something yours, not because you “own” it but because you are in a deep relationship with it. To act in your integrity with everything and everyone you meet, from your clothes to your house or apartment, to your neighborhood. With your own body, in relationship, and in nature.
How do you embody self?
Authenticity. Spending enough time alone and building in ritual and practices that allow me to consistently check in on myself. How am I feeling? What are my morals and ethics? What are my priorities right now? How do I want to be treated? How do I want to treat others? Something I learned in Doula training was the concept of Action and Integration. In death work it is a practice to assist you in keeping the work sustainable, but it can be applied to all areas of life. It is the idea that after each action there is a period of integration, a time of reflection that can then help inform what the next action move will be. Building a regular practice around “tapping into self” is important to me because I know myself well enough now, that I am constantly inputting new information, changing and evolving. When I feel confident knowing where I’m at, it allows me to not get stuck in patterns of old behavior and to show up in the world more authentically.
When do you feel the most at home in your body and how does your house reflect that?
When I feel most in my body is when I am caring for myself, be it movement, music, song, good food, taking a bath or filling my social cup by entertaining or going out with friends, laughter, and thoughtful conversation. I’m in a deep relationship with my home, it often feels like an extension of me, so when I care for it, when I engage with it with intention and gratitude it helps nurture parts of myself as well.
